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FW: [Over21Jokes] Adult Jokes-11 19 09
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 2009 14:36:34 -0600
Subject: [Over21Jokes] Adult Jokes-11 19 09
Subject: [Over21Jokes] Adult Jokes-11 19 09
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One Liners and Q & A
Q. What does 78-year-old snatch smell like?
A. Depends!
Q. How can you tell when your husband has an abnormally high sperm count?
A. You have to chew before you swallow.
Q. Why do women have such a hard time peeing in the morning?
A. Ever try to pull apart a grilled cheese sandwich?
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. (Theatre Rule)
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. (Law of Coffee)
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. (Murphy's Law of Lockers)
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug. (Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets)
No matter where you go, there you are. (Law of Location)
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. (Law of Logical Argument)
If the shoe fits, it's really ugly. (Brown's Law)
Q. How do we know God is a man?
A. Because if God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate.
A young city boy is spending Thanksgiving with his grand parents on their farm.
Whilst Grandma is getting dinner ready, Grandpa takes the young lad for a walk around the farm.
The boy sees the bull jumping a cow and asks Grandpa what they are doing.
Grandpa tells the boy the bull is serving the cow.
In the stable two horses are going at it and again the young lad asks for an explanation.
Grandpa says the stallion is serving the mare.
When they get to the pig sty, sure as hell, two pigs are getting it on.
The boy looks at Grandpa and says, "I know what's going on, the boar is serving the sow. Am I right?"
Just then Grandma calls them in to dinner.
Grace is said and Grandma says to Grandpa,
"Will you please serve the turkey, Grandpa?"
The kid looks horrified and says,
"If he does, I want a hamburger."
While touring an Indian reservation in North Dakota filming a documentary, Barbara Walters was puzzled as to why the difference in the number of feathers in the head dresses. So, she asked a brave who only had one feather in his headdress. His reply was: "Only have one woman. One woman, one feather."
Feeling the first fellow was only joking she asked another brave. This brave had two feathers in his headdress.
And he replied: "Me have two women. Two women, two feathers."
Still not convinced the feathers indicated the number of sexual partners involved, she decided to interview the Chief.
Now the Chief had a head dress full of feathers, which, needless to say, amused Ms. Walters. She asked the Chief, "Why do you have so many feathers in your head dress?"
The Chief proudly pounded his chest and said: "Me Chief, me sleep with 'em all. Big, small, and tall, me sleep with 'em all."
Horrified, Ms. Walters stated, "You ought to be hung."
The Chief said: "You damn right, me hung, big like buffalo, long like snake"
Ms. Walters cried, "You don't have to be so hostile!"
The Chief replied: "Hoss-style, dog-style, wolf-style, any style.....me sleep with 'em all."
With tears in her eyes, Ms. Walters cried, "Oh dear."
The Chief said: "No deer. Ass too high, run too fast."
While touring an Indian reservation in North Dakota filming a documentary, Barbara Walters was puzzled as to why the difference in the number of feathers in the head dresses. So, she asked a brave who only had one feather in his headdress. His reply was: "Only have one woman. One woman, one feather."
Feeling the first fellow was only joking she asked another brave. This brave had two feathers in his headdress.
And he replied: "Me have two women. Two women, two feathers."
Still not convinced the feathers indicated the number of sexual partners involved, she decided to interview the Chief.
Now the Chief had a head dress full of feathers, which, needless to say, amused Ms. Walters. She asked the Chief, "Why do you have so many feathers in your head dress?"
The Chief proudly pounded his chest and said: "Me Chief, me sleep with 'em all. Big, small, and tall, me sleep with 'em all."
Horrified, Ms. Walters stated, "You ought to be hung."
The Chief said: "You damn right, me hung, big like buffalo, long like snake"
Ms. Walters cried, "You don't have to be so hostile!"
The Chief replied: "Hoss-style, dog-style, wolf-style, any style.....me sleep with 'em all."
With tears in her eyes, Ms. Walters cried, "Oh dear."
The Chief said: "No deer. Ass too high, run too fast."
One night Scott was getting very drunk in a pub.
He staggered back to take a piss, whipping his wanker out as he went in the door.
However, he had wandered into the ladies room by mistake, surprising a woman sitting on the can.
"This is for ladies!" she screamed!!
Scott waved his wanker at her and said, "So is this!"
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